I have often gotten on my soapbox with regards the the language we use when we talk about/with dying people. I have often threatened to haunt anyone who uses a battle metaphor after I have died. When I fade into the beyond, I will simply have gone onto another natural manifestation of energy, I will not have lost a battle with anyone or anything. It is the difference between seeing death as moving into peace or death as something, the opposite of peace, to be avoided at all costs.
What I now have to add to this rant is that, in many cases, we are responsible for the language used around us at the time of our terminal illness/death. I see now that, with some exceptions, the ones we love are merely following our lead. When I see the dying railing against the "unfairness" of death, I see those around them declaring war and suffering under the weight of an invisible foe. When I see the dying who make peace and spend their time expressing gratitude for what was/is, I see those around them declaring their love, reminiscing about the times they will always cherish and working for ways to make the patient's time left full and harmonious.
The way we lead our loved ones during our final days is not something we decide. It is a reflection of how we lived and what we believe. How do you imagine you will lead those you love when you are on the deathbed? How would you like it to be? Are the two in alignment?