Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Changes, Pain and Growth
It's been almost a year since I've written on this blog. During that time, my life has been turned upside down. My marriage ended, my beautiful dog died, and I loved and lost a wonderful CF soulmate. I have explored grief on deep levels over the past year, and continue to do so.
The world soldiers on and I having been trying to keep up. Some days I am almost successful, many days I have fallen behind.
Spring is here and it lifts me up to see the sun and evidence of renewal. I am hopeful I will find acceptance and healing in all of 2009's losses. I am hopeful I will remember the lessons that this profound grief has been teaching me.
I feel a part of a new club, one that understands how oblivious the world can be to the devastation of grief. One that understands that a person's internal world is often compromised and shut down in order to "stay strong," push grief aside, and give the world what it asks for. I hope I will keep this perspective and remember to reach out my hand to others when they are in the darkness.
During my time of losses, I also had moments of creation. I have written my Patient Advocacy Handbook. This workbook on individual advocacy is on sale now in honor of upcoming advocacy and advance care planning events! Get them now before this offer expires (for real). The extended workbook on community, system and political advocacy is due out this summer.
I hope to visit this blog more and share my life with you again. I have missed the connection and exchange of ideas this blog allows. As you can understand, sometimes we need to retreat into our privacy. That's where I have been over the last year. I thank you for respecting that and am grateful for those who have been supportive. I am grateful to the universe for allowing me such depth of experience.
This Sunday, I celebrate 6 years post second transplant and the following Sunday makes 10 years since my first transplant. I am lucky, this I can never lose sight of. I am grateful.
With lost of love,