Saturday, June 23, 2012

May love lead...

I have often gotten on my soapbox with regards the the language we use when we talk about/with dying people. I have often threatened to haunt anyone who uses a battle metaphor after I have died. When I fade into the beyond, I will simply have gone onto another natural manifestation of energy, I will not have lost a battle with anyone or anything. It is the difference between seeing death as moving into peace or death as something, the opposite of peace, to be avoided at all costs.

What I now have to add to this rant is that, in many cases, we are responsible for the language used around us at the time of our terminal illness/death. I see now that, with some exceptions, the ones we love are merely following our lead. When I see the dying railing against the "unfairness" of death, I see those around them declaring war and suffering under the weight of an invisible foe. When I see the dying who make peace and spend their time expressing gratitude for what was/is, I see those around them declaring their love, reminiscing about the times they will always cherish and working for ways to make the patient's time left full and harmonious.

The way we lead our loved ones during our final days is not something we decide. It is a reflection of how we lived and what we believe. How do you imagine you will lead those you love when you are on the deathbed? How would you like it to be? Are the two in alignment?

6 comments:

Celeste Cooper said...

LOVE This!

Julie Schreiber said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Julie Schreiber said...

I love your writing. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. May God Bless you and keep you safe.

Wendy said...

What a beautiful post. I'm glad to find you here again, even though it's been awhile since you wrote this. I have lupus and find your blog always provides me real food for thought and a new and valuable perspective on life. It's why I keep coming back. Hope you are well.

Maui Girl said...

I just found your blog and am so happy I did. I have something called Charcot Marie Tooth disease. It is a genetic neurological disease. I recently started a blog of my own please check it out if you get time.
Thank you
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Maui Girl said...

Also wanted to say that I worked Hospice for 10 years and your statement about how a person's attitude is picked up from the dying person is true and even one step further their faith has a lot to do with it. It never really seemed to matter what they believed in after this life it was the believing that made the difference. Would love your feedback on my blog http://job6-3.blogspot.com/2014/10/kidneys-who-needs-them.html