Wednesday, July 4, 2007

A Prayer for Mom and Dad

Christmas 2003

One of the hardest parts of illness is the helplessness that comes with being taken care of by loved ones. In a dark time, this helplessness can manifest itself as resentment. In an enlightened time, this helplessness manifests as an overwhelming gratitude for a debt so huge it could never be repaid. This gratitude easily transforms into guilt.
The only way I have been able to let go of my guilt is to stop believing that it is within my power to repay and reward those I love for all they have done for me. I wrote this poem/prayer in a moment of hopeless guilt as a way to free myself of the weight of my gratitude.

To my beautiful parents
Who have nursed me when I was sick,
Let me run when I was well,
And sat by my side as we cried both
tears of laughter and of sadness.
There is nothing I could ever do on this
earth to repay all the sacrifices you've
made or the love you have given me
throughout the years, so all I can offer
is this prayer:
I pray that, whether in this world or the
next, all the generosity you have shown
me will bring a smile to God's eyes and
he will reward you in ways you never

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