It has suddenly occurred to me that “God” is not the God I imagined as a child and have deeply embedded in my subconscious. God is not the controlling miracle worker. God can not make me go to sleep when I am not tired. God can not heal my lungs when they are sick. God can not create money for me when I am poor. God does not do magic tricks.
God is merely and profoundly my guide. God wills me to relax my thoughts so that I might go to sleep. God guides me to good doctors, and away from bad ones, so that I might be educated on a healthy way of life and given good medicine. God leads me to people who can give me a job so that I can make the money I need. God does not do magic tricks. God simply leads me and I have the choice of whether or not to listen.
It is up to me whether or not I let my mind calm down, take the doctor’s advice or accept the job that will provide some money. I am ultimately the one who makes the choice to sleep, be healthy or healthier, and to have money.
I was raised believing God could do anything and now I know he can not do anything without my cooperation. Cooperation comes in the form of integrity and openness. If I am without integrity, I will make the negative choice. If I am not open, I can not be guided by the spirits’ gentle whispers.
I must stop sleeping through life. I must start taking more time to allow the opportunity for spirit to speak to me. I must give my own spirit the respect it deserves for being responsible for ending up where I am. I must accept that responsibility for every shape, every nuance of my life. I must listen at every step. God is not a magician and if I fall out of the boat, he can not wave his wand and zap me back in.