Tuesday, September 30, 2008
A Confident Necklace
A few months back, I bought a big, chunky bright yellow necklace (shown above) as a part of a costume. Some may say it's ugly, but I like my "Target Special" plastic adornment. Come to think of it, it looks like a Betty Rubble necklace...sorry, I digress.
So, I have often held this necklace in my hand and pondered wearing it out of the house. Until today, I have always put it down. It just felt too big, too bright, too scary. Would people think I was a fashion disaster if I wore it? Would people secretly snicker behind my back after I passed by? Would I look like a fool in my Betty Rubble necklace?
Today, I wore the necklace out of the house. To a meeting, to the store, to the post office, to work and to another meeting. A few people made comments like "that's a necklace!" Compliment or snide comment? Who knows. But here's the fun part...I didn't care.
Why is it that today was the day when I was feeling confident enough to wear the bright boulders around my neck? Why did I have enough self-confidence today to do what I wanted with little to no worry about other people's opinions? Why today?
As I asked myself that question, it occurred to me that I have spent years of my life talking about balance. Finding peace with the roller coaster of life. Understanding that sometimes things are going your way and other days you can barely find your way out of your own front door.
Why, then, have I left my own self-confidence out of this equation? Why must I strive for balance, acceptance and understanding about all of life's cycles but not my own level of confidence? Why have I always assumed that confidence is something that should be static, steady, unchanging? What in life is static, steady and unchanging anyway? Where did I get this idea--some guru? Myself? Oprah?
I don't know where I got the idea that self-confidence should never waiver but I am now rethinking this idea. My necklace has proven to me that my level of self-confidence varies--should I A. be upset about this fact or B. just accept it? I'm going to have to pick B.
Thank you big, yellow, chunky Target Betty Rubble necklace. You made me rethink a thought I never even realized I had. I promise, I won't judge myself on the days where you just look intimidating. At the same time, I will enjoy the days when I am confident enough to wear you without fear!
Lessons come from amazing places, don't they?