Saturday, October 13, 2007

Another Night of Losing Sleep

Yup, I couldn't sleep again last night.
But, guess what?
Unlike two nights earlier, I wasn't tossing and turning from wrestling with anxiety or worry.
Last night I couldn't sleep because I was so excited. Things are beginning to come together and I have soooo many plans for when I the book arrives (I have yet to get my copies).
What a difference a day makes!

Yesterday I landed two great gigs. Both are events in April--one being my new workshop and the other is a talk at a large Hospice convention. (When I have all the details I will be sure to post them under the "Schedule" section of my website.)

This is an interesting time for me. Some days I am concerned about the future--will this thing take off in the way I hoped? Some days I feel elated--like things have progressed far beyond my expectations considering I only quit my day job Sept. 1st. Some days I am down right terrified of people's reactions to my book, my message, my choices.

As I have said before, I never anticipated my emotional reaction to the release of this book. It is easy to sit alone in a room typing out thoughts on a computer with an idea that someday people will buy what you have written. Now that it has become a reality, I have an overwhelming desire for those words I have typed to be worthy of their time and money. My emotions wax and wane. This is all I have come to expect--I am only certain of the uncertainty of how I feel moment to moment.

No, there is one more thing I am certain of--I feel more alive than ever before. I love my life and wouldn't change a thing.

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