I was messing around with my cell phone yesterday and started editing my contacts list.
My friend Debbie was still in there even though she died about a month ago. I scroll past her name daily but, until yesterday, I couldn't stomach the thought of hitting "delete."
This is the second friend this year I have deleted from my contacts list. It's such a small detail but yet so profound. The permanency gives me great pause.
Somehow, hitting "delete" makes Debbie's death more real to me than attending her memorial service.
I guess grief is like that--it's often the little things that awaken the most sadness.
So today, my phone no longer contains her name and I say "goodbye again" to my dear friend Debbie.
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2 comments:
(((((hugs))))) I am sending you warm thoughts to help you in your grief. And sending you hopeful thoughts, knowing that you will have the opportunity to add new contacts to that phone in the future.
How sad! I'm so sorry. It must be so hard to do that as it gives a finality to her death.
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