Happy Heart

I imagine you are getting sick of my caffeine updates. I'm sorry. I have just become fascinated with how this whole thing is turning out. The secret fears about not ever being happy again without having a coffee in hand, the addict mind pulling me back to the cup with some compelling arguments, the way my body feels better but my mind still struggles and now, the intentional relapse.

This weekend, I wanted to do an experiment to see how I felt having a morning cup of coffee. I had gone 5 days without any and my body was really enjoying it's new state of equilibrium. Mind you, my hubbs grinds the beans himself (sometimes he roasts them himself too) and makes it with some sort of french press thingy. One cup of hubby's coffee is more like two cups of strong restaurant coffee.

So I drank it. And I was a freaking maniac. It was like someone had wound my up like a doll with a key in it's back and I was on fire. Doing doing doing! I got a lot accomplished that day (all of the "magazine covers" below, as a matter of fact). But boy, I felt like a crazy person and I didn't like it. I also crashed and crashed hard.

Sunday I tried a half a cup just for funzies. I didn't like that either. I felt all foggy and weird.

Here's the clincher: I went to work out today and the treadmills have a thing that measure your heart rate. I know this is crazy, but mine usually is 118-124 resting. My docs and I have just come to see that as normal for me.
Guess what it was today? 100! Can you believe it? That's so awesome. Now I feel like I have some tangible results that my body is benefiting from this decision.

So, I'm really liking this no coffee thing. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence.