Tuesday, April 24, 2007

2 Donor Stories

I am a spiritual person and I believe that a human being’s spirit lives on after they die. Because of this belief system, I was intrigued by the unique connection between donor and recipient. Was it purely coincidence that I was given the lungs I received or was it some sort of cosmic plan laid out between my donors and myself before this lifetime?

This part of my story is not going to be in the book. It’s a little too “out there” for the kind of thing I am writing but I was talking about this today and it made me want to write about this topic.

After my first transplant, I wanted to feel a warm connection between myself and my donor’s spirit. I couldn’t find that warmth, however, and sort of forgot about the whole idea for a while. About six months after my transplant, I began to have these very odd feelings that were quite overwhelming. I had a tremendous sense of jealousy. For everyone and everything. I can even remember feeling jealous of myself, of the things I did last week. It was so strange and I couldn’t figure out what had triggered this new explosion of dissatisfaction and envy.

One day it hit me. These feelings were not my own. I was feeling what my donor was feeling, through these lungs. I was feeling anger, resentment and jealousy for all living beings. I could feel that she wanted to be here and she was angry that I got to live and she had to leave this earth.

I went to a friend who is a psychic. Whether you believe in that sort of thing or not, what she told me about the relationship between myself and this donor is still an interesting story. She connected with my donor and discovered the karmic link. Apparently, while she saved my life, the purpose of our relationship centered around my teaching her about death. Shortly after my transplant, I was diagnosed with a terminal illness. This was my chance (unbeknownst to me) to fulfill my end of the bargain. As the weeks went by, I grew more and more comfortable with the idea of my own mortality. After some time, I reached a deep level of acceptance. According to my friend, this process was being observed closely by my donor. Through my journey, she was able to let go of her anger and move on to the spirit world.

There was a very different karmic connection with my second transplant. I felt a great peace afterwards and had this sweet feeling that I had a constant, friendly companion by my side. I could feel my donor’s spirit rooting for me and my life began to move very smoothly. I was making powerful decisions and my life was taking shape, more so than ever before.

Once again, my psychic friend described her understanding of my connection with my donor. She saw us living another life together, this time as sisters. We lived on an island and there was a major storm, perhaps a tsunami. Our house began to flood and I drowned and my sister survived. She lived the rest of her days feeling guilt that I was gone and she got to live. My friend told me that my sister and I had made an arrangement before coming to earth that she would give me the air that she so desperately wanted me to have in the other life. She would save me from drowning in this lifetime and be my donor.

It may be coincidence, it may not be, but this transplant has been much more successful than the first. I feel a harmony that I didn’t on the first go-round. I don’t know how literal the past life stories are, but they certainly fit my experience.

I believe that we all serve a purpose in each other’s lives. It’s when we decide that we know what that purpose is that we get into trouble.

Maybe I'm not entirely crazy - check this out (which I found in this blog entry).

1 comment:

Megan said...

I know there are all kinds of laws and what not- but have you ever thought about trying to find the family of your donor? I've heard about people doing this in the past and have been wondering what your take on it all is. Thanks.