I immediately start to feel like this new state is permanent these are all the things I will “just have to get used to”:
1. I begin to work on accepting that I my writer’s well has dried up and I’ll never write another piece that I like. The book is garbage and I should just throw in the towel.
2. I do an internal sweep of my body to see what’s going on. Am I getting sick? Are my lungs rejecting? Do I have an infection at the sight of my recent stomach surgery?
3. I feel like my thoughts are dull and uninteresting. Clearly, I have thought my last original thought.
4. Life is generally unsatisfying and surely that won’t change.
Then guess what happens? I take a nap. I talk to my friend. I walk my dog. I give myself permission to take a day or two off from writing. Like a tiny miracle, I feel better. I don’t feel great, but I do feel better.
All of my moods are impermanent so why am I convinced otherwise? Why am I so ready to accept that my current state is the one I will live with forever. I had this feeling each time I got sick and apparently, I still have this feeling when my mood shifts dramatically. Usually I am hungry or tired. Sometimes, I just need to shut up and relax!
All things are changing
God only is changeless